Birth Doesn't Hurt?

I believe that childbirth can be pain free (last birth). I believe this because I have experienced it. I have also experienced childbirth being painful (with my two previous births). What changed was my belief about childbirth. I learned about the pain-fear cycle and how to create in my mind an ideal pain free birth. Believing in myself, my ability to give birth to my child and knowing how this could be done helped to change my perception of child birth.

I saw this quote today from Ina May Gaskin, in her book "Spiritual Midwifery".

"There is extraordinary psychological benefit in belonging to a group
of women who have positive stories to tell about their birth
experiences. This phenomenon is exactly what developed within our
village.

So many horror stories circulate about birth-especially in the United
States-that it can be difficult for women to believe that labor and
birth can be a beneficial experience. If you have been pregnant for a
while, it's probable that you've already heard some scary birth
stories from friends or relatives.

This is especially true if you live in the United States, where
telling pregnant women gory stories has been a national pastime for
at least a century. Now that birth has become a favorite subject of
television dramas and situation comedies, this trend has been even
more pronounced.

No one has explained the situation more succinctly than Stephen King
in his novella "The Breathing Method." Commenting on the fear many
women have of birth, his fictional character observes, "Believe me:
if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt.
Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the
act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful-when she gets this
information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and
her physician-that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great
agony." King, you may not know, is the father of several children
born at home."

Why do we as women destroy another woman's birth experience by telling her how awful birth is? Why are we so negative about one of the most beautiful and natural experiences on this earth? I would like to challenge all of us to be positive about child birth and mothering. Tell women what an amazing experience birth is. Tell them about the amazing way our bodies create a person and the amazing way we bring that person into this world.

If you have had a bad birth experience, keep it to yourself. As women a lot of times we want recognition and attention for things we do. Sometimes we want sympathy for bad things that have happened to us or the hard things we've had to do. Sometimes we want to be heroes and be known to others for a specific thing we did. We tell these stories over and over again. What we sometimes don't realize is how this affects first time moms or even mothers who are having their 2nd, 3rd child or so on. Our minds are very powerful and when being told a story we can see it vividly in our minds. Our mind doesn't always know the difference between what is imagined and what is real. Pregnant women are already emotional, they already have their own set of fears and worries. They don't need other women telling them their horror stories and putting upon them their fears and worries.

There are times that we tell our stories about birth thinking we are helping to prepare the pregnant woman for what could happen. We are smart, we know there are risks associated with pregnancy and birth. It is no secret. However, pregnant women don't need those risks magnified and described in a way that they themselves feel like they have experienced them. We set ourselves up to fail when we focus on the risks and potential problems of pregnancy and birth. We create that experience in our mind and that experience becomes our reality.

I know I've probably been guilty of telling women not-so-positive things about birth. Here and now I am going to commit to telling positive and wonderful things about birth. It is my goal to empower women with information, knowledge and positive experiences, not fear.

Please tell a different story!

Isaac's Birth Story

(NOTICE: This post contains terms from HypnoBabies)

Isaac was born on December 30, 2007 at 11:38 PM.
8lbs. 8oz
21" long

My mid wife came to check me at 9PM. I had a lot of fluid so his head was floaty. She said I was a stretchy 8cm dilated. We discussed the risks of breaking my water, especially with a bouncy head. She explained she would have me sit upright on the birthing stool and she would use a needle to release the fluid slowly. These things would help minimize the risk of a prolapsed cord and a rush trip to the hospital. I decided to go ahead and have her break my water. I called my mom to come be with the kids (they were up and super excited) and be here in case we had to transport to the hospital. My husband called to let our photographer know that we were going to start me. We waited till my mom got here. While I was waiting, I did a fear release session (from my HypnoBabies class) and just tried to relax by envisioning Isaac's head in the perfect place with no cord or limbs close to the opening of my cervix. I had turned my switch off when my midwife checked me. I switched it to center after my shortened fear release session.

My mom arrived. It was about 10:00PM. My husband sat behind me on the bed while I was on the birthing stool. My midwife checked to see how good the baby's position was while I was upright. She said his head was much less bouncy. She checked his heart rate and it was great. She proceeded to pierce the bag, the water came out slowly and it was a LOT of water. After she broke my water she checked to see if his head came down, it did and nothing else came with it. She checked his heart rate again and it was still great.

After my water was broken I started having stronger pressure waves (contractions). I really wanted to get into the birthing pool. Standing with my arms around my husband was the most comfortable position for each pressure wave while I was waiting for the pool to fill up with warm water. During this time I left my switch in the center.

10:35, When the pool was filled I got in. I was on my knees with my upper body hanging over the side of the pool. I had big head phones on listening to my Birth Day Affirmations. I had my husband pour water over my back, this felt so nice especially during a pressure wave. The pressure waves were about 1 minute apart and very strong. They actually never seemed to end at this point. During these more intense pressure waves I turned my switch off. I also started to listen to my Deepening CD. This helped me to relax more and get deeper into hypnosis. I choose my Deepening CD because during practices I would regularly fall asleep during it. So I knew it provided me with deep hypnosis.


I turned over and sat in the pool. I was feeling quite hot and asked my husband to put a cool wash cloth on my forehead. It helped cool me down and make me more comfortable. While sitting up I all of a sudden felt the urge to push.





At 11:16PM, I pushed and grunted a little through the pressure wave and said "I feel like pushing". My husband told the midwife I wanted to push. The midwife and the student midwife came into the bathroom where the pool was set up. The next pressure wave I didn't feel like pushing. I asked my husband to put my Pushing Baby Out CD on and unplug the headphones so I could listen to it out loud. On the next one I really felt like pushing, but the sitting position was really uncomfortable for me. I got on my knees again. While I had a pressure wave the midwife checked my cervix. There was a little lip on it. She had me push while she moved the lip up over his head. In between pressure waves it moved back so I had to push through a few more with her fingers pushing the lip over his head. This was the most uncomfortable part of birthing. Once the lip was gone and I was pushing there was a lot of pressure. I remember that I kept saying "It's so much, it's so much!" I was really verbal during the birth. I grunted and said "AHHHH" a lot and loud. I was worried what my kids would think. I didn't want them to be scared. When his head was crowning our photographer went and got my kids who wanted to see the baby born. Ethan (4 years) was asleep, but my mom brought him in with her anyway. Audrey (7) was super excited and looked like she was about to cry. Once his head was out it felt so much better to birth him. He had his hand by his head which added to the pressure that his 15" head created. Birthing the rest of his body felt awesome!

At 11:38PM, I reached down and pulled him up to my chest and turned and sat down with him. The midwife put a towel up against his back to keep him warm. He didn't scream, he didn't cry, he just started to make noises. He opened his eyes and looked around. He didn't like the flashes of the cameras. He was amazing! And I was in awe that I had actually done it. We had our baby!



I pulled down my sports bra and encouraged him to nurse. Once he latched on I didn't think he'd ever stop, he really enjoyed nursing and he's a pro at it!


TJ was able to clamp and cut the cord after it stopped pulsating.

I stayed in the pool until after the placenta came out. I got out and sat on the bed with Audrey and TJ. Audrey held him and I nursed him again. The student midwife then came to give him his new born checkup. She was so gentle and it was such a difference than having our first two in the hospital. He got weighed and measured and all checked out.







We got him dressed and I nursed him again. Everyone left. Ethan finally woke up and spent some time with us. Audrey went to bed. Ethan was super excited. It took a lot to get him to settle down and go back to sleep.

The hypnosis was great and I don't think I could have done it without it. He is a very pleasant baby. He has been sleeping tons and I have to wake him up to feed him.

My Sad Blog

I think my blog is feeling under the weather or something. Early last week I noticed some of the tags were showing up instead of the elements they represent. Then ALL the content was gone and only tags were showing. I changed templates and then tried to implement my own design to it again. Apparently it doesn't really like the changes I wanted to make.

I really don't want to deal with it right now. I hate fighting with css, so I might just choose a generic template from blogger and call it good for now. At 37.5 weeks pregnant who would want to be sitting at the computer! My back is killing me and the last thing I want to do is sit here and try to figure out why blogger doesn't like my template.

Maybe after the first of the year I'll come up with a new design.